It. Was. Horrible.
It made my confidence go down so much, I had boys making fun of the way I stood, as I crossed my arms but held one arm infront of my face pretending to bite the jumper to hide those nasty spots on my chin :(
I literally tried E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G! I searched the web for solutions to help my skin, and I found the craziest things. I tried:
- Spraying perfume on them to dry out the spots
- Left toothpaste on them over night
- Tried tea tree oil in my skin regime
- Used a hair dryer on my face
- Just used water to lessen the impact of chemicals
- On the other hand, then used as many products on my face I could find
- Didn't touch the spots
- Didn't wear make up
- Got early nights sleep
- Ate healthily with a good amount of veg and fruit
But nothing worked!! Some things hurt sooo much too on the raw spots and I went through it because it was actually ruining my life. I was scared to go to school (mixed school at the time), where girls and boys were going to be judging me. I had a few comments where someone said "Katie go and do dot-to-dot on your face". I wanted to cry there and then, but I couldn't. Other people told me "You have crisps on your chin.. oh wait never mind," before laughing and looking at their friends. People would also ask me if I didn't ever clean my face... wow, how shallow some people can be.
I couldn't cope. I had to see the Doctor. Telling him about this straight away sent me out into tears, and even writing this bit is making me quite emotional, but I want to get this out.
He showed me some pictures in a book of different severities of acne, and I was then diagnosed with moderate-severe. My spots weren't massive, I just had a lot of them surrounding my mouth, on my chin and all over my forehead. Lucky for me I could use a fringe to cover up the forehead spots.
He could see how upset this was making me, and prescribed me with a drug which I think is called Lymecyline, which were antibiotics that I took twice a day, for a good 2 years or so.
He also gave me a solution to put onto the spots which helped dry them out.
So starting this, I had to put on a brave face and head to school again, facing the harsh comments head on. I stopped wearing the paste of foundation I wore before to cover the spots. People thought I looked so strange, but I had got to the point where I was used to all the stares and remarks.
Eventually the spots began to fade, but there was a lot of scarring left behind for a long time.
So I thought "Hurray, I finally have clear skin!"
But I thought wrong... about half a year later after stopping the medication, these spots gradually began to worsen and worsen again, almost getting to the extent they were before, but I knew I had to see the Doctor before it got any worse again. He put me back onto the antibiotics, but this time the magic wasn't working. If it did help a bit too, coming off the antibiotics just took me right back to square one. I was helpless. I had to be referred to a Dermatologist.
After a close examination of my face and skin, it was clear to her there was only one other option; Roaccutane. I had heard of this before, and of all the great successes it has had, it has also had some very scary side effects. But I took the risk and went on it.
Some side effects have before led people to suicidal thoughts and the risk of death, as well as other problems like liver disease.
My treatment was to last for 4 months, getting a monthly blood test to check everything was in order. That was probably the worst of the treatment! Everything else seemed to fly by. I had 3 different pills to take each day as well as 2 other ones, but to be honest with you I literally can't remember much of this as I have just tried blocking out any acne times from my memories.
I had some minor side effects like:
- VERY dry lips (vaseline was my best friend and has stuck by me through the process)
- Achey muscles, especially in my back
- Feeling faint after exercise
- Getting tired quicker
- Sad emotions
- Dry skin and scalp
...although nothing else that was potentially serious occurred.
By the second month I was already so amazed, seeing the spots simply vanish off my skin. The third month the scarring was even fading, and spots just didn't want to choose my face as a home anymore. When the fourth month was over, words can't describe how happy I was. Finally, I could walk out the house with a brave face on. I didn't have to worry about if people were looking at my spots and judging me as a disgusting person. People treated me with more respect- which is so very sad, but my spots just seemed to scare people I guess.
Finally I felt like a normal human being.
I can honestly say if it wasn't for Roaccutane, I would probably still be hiding my face away from the world.
I can even wear my hair without bangs, and for me that is a huge deal! I don't have to cover my face, and now embrace my skin.
I seriously recommend going to a Dermatologist if you have issues with your skin. Even if you're worried about stories you have heard, they will give you the insight and let you know what can help.
I am sooo happy now, and can even risk walking out the house without any make up on now.
I hope my story has let you truly see how I felt, and let you think twice before you judge someones skin. People can't help the skin they have, whether it is always red and blotchy, or spotty with scars. These are normal people like you and me, and would give anything to get rid of this. You shouldn't draw attention to this and make stupid remarks; just treat them like you would treat any other person.
The one great side of having acne lets you know who your true friends are and who will stick by you through thick and thin. There is nothing worse than people treating you a particular way by how you look.
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